a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
There are leaves in my underwear?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
