I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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