i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i wish my penis had a tongue
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
