her vagine was all disorganized.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
