I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
