His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
