WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
