Me. At least after what I've been through.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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