sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
