OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
