i think i have herpe
just one?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
