New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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