hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
