He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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