Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
