He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
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She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
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Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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