is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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