so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
