the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
