she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
