i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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