mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
