I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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