I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I AM VODKA MAN
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
