Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
