like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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