Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize