Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
