my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
