He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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