yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
