put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize