I wish I could punch you in the face.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
