Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
