I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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