My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Randomize