The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize