Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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