You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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