someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
