I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
