I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
