I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
