I must be too annoying 4 u.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
