Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
