If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
