We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
