if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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