how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
