Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize