fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
