I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
