Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
