Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
