so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
