Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
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The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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