I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
