I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
