..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
