i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Let's get the cat blown out
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
