I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
