umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
