god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize