In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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